my thoughts, musings, rants and discoveries . . .

I had a great talk with a friend of mine yesterday. He called to be an encouragement to me, which he succeeded. You see, I run a small startup storage company that has been struggling for various reasons, most notably because we opted not to take in more capital than we were advised.

Anyway, he tried to explain to me his view of God, with all the bad things going on, including things going on with my company and in my life. I asked if he viewed God as a little kid with a magnifying glass and us as bugs getting our legs burned off. Not surprisingly, the analogy resonated with him.

While the thought has occasionally crossed my mind, I don’t think I’ve really thought that way in many years. My experiences over the years have created a perception of God that isn’t so bleak, but is rather full of hope.

You see, when you do as many startups as I’ve done, with little to no venture funds, you get used to things being tougher than usual. What can I say? That’s just how I roll. And you’d think I’d be used to stockpiling cash over the years. And I probably should. But I tend to be a little generous with things. My view on personal fortunes is rather simple. I believe you should try to make as many people as you can happy. Sometimes it works. Sometimes, not so much. But I try nonetheless.

Anyway, through my various adventures, I have seen God do inexplicable things. Don’t worry, this isn’t one of those power of positive thinking or power of prayer messages. Rather, it’s to say that I have witnessed God take me to the lowest of points, ignore my prayers, get me below the point of despair, and then all of a sudden, and without any warning, deliver something to me that exceeds what I was asking for.

Sound exciting? Well it is. But it’s not without its severe anxiety, worry, etc.

In Romans, Paul explains “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God; to them who are the called according to his purpose.” While this is a popular memory verse for most Christians, I’m afraid most Christians haven’t the foggiest idea what this verse means or entails.

For the Christian, our lives are a refining process. We’re slowly being conformed to the image of Christ. And in order to be refined, we have to be continually processed, worn down, built up, worn down, built back up, and so on. Each individual goes through his own refinement according to the impurities that God needs to work out of the system.

But how do you explain this to a non-Christian? How does this really apply? Well, it doesn’t. That’s the point. We can try as we might to make it apply, but it’s mere folly. The verse is for Christians only. And the more I’ve gone through this, the more I’m left with the incredible sensation that I never really know what’s happening in my life– even when seemingly good things are present. Everything is transitory.

Bad things do happen in the world. Bad things do happen to God’s children. I suppose my answer to most regarding the global economic situation is that God is not a democrat. There is no redistribution of wealth in God’s economy. Quite the contrary. There is a distribution of trials across the globe. Consider this, if God spares not his own children from such harsh times, why would he necessarily spare the rest of the world?

Believe it or not there should be a measure of comfort in that thought. God isn’t a merciless tyrant. Nor is he carefree and careless. We are told that he acts according to his good pleasure. And that all of these things bring honor and glory to his name. It’s hard to think about that when you see people lose their homes, businesses and jobs. But it doesn’t make it any less true.

In the end, I don’t know if it’s possible to summarize God’s purpose in each individual’s life. I can only do so for my life and possibly for the lives of those in my charge. Times are tough. And while I may not be able to understand and explain why we’re going through such pains, I can say that we continue to experience God’s mercies. We continue to receive relief. We’re alive. Our health has been good. And we have been blessed, regardless of the continuing daily grind.

For now, we’ll continue to do those things we know we ought to do. While I don’t believe in a quid pro quo God who helps those who help themselves, I do believe that such actions please him and bring glory to his name. So we’ll do it for those reasons. We’ll do such things because at any point we may gain traction. We’ll do such things because that is the responsible thing to do. And we’ll do such things because it helps to keep us sane.

This holds true for my business and for my home. Some of my best inventions have come out of moments of deepest despair. One of my investors reminded me, and then quickly apologized for any cliche, that it’s always darkest before the dawn. There’s nothing cliche in that if you truly embrace it.

This year has been quite exciting for numerous reasons. I wish for my family, my friend, my employees and my investors that things will be considerably better come the new year. I believe in my heart that they will be. Sure things haven’t gone according to our plans. But if I look back at some of the things that have happened in just the past 12 months, how can I see anything but the hand of God upon us?

1. Got our first beta customer in January, a healthcare company. Sure they’ve tortured us thoroughly tested our products and helped them become better. But this is huge for a startup.
2. We seem to never be done raising our seed funds, but we did raise $1.8M over the course of 2 years and we’re still alive and kicking with some incredible deals closing.
3. We were turned down by an investor who brought in the VP of Ops from Agami, one of our closest competitors. Well, this guy proceeded to tell the prospective investor about how they’ve been able to do all that we’ve done. Yeah? Hmm… well their products started at $30K and ours start at $2K. Our $2K product is 25% faster than their $30K product. And we have close to 2x the gross margin. We didn’t get the investment. But guess what? That company raised another $43M in February and closed their doors by August.
4. We’ve produced a product that appears to be 600% faster than anything else in the marketplace.
5. We’ve been approached this year by 5 companies wishing to acquire us. Economic troubles, timing, etc have played significant factors in things not moving forward. But the key take away is that people have wanted us and continue to want us.
6. I received a call last week from an existing investor wanting to invest more. I had a call with another guy this week, possibly wanting to invest in us. And I have another round of meetings with a firm that is considering making a large investment in us. All of this is happening at a time where I have had no less than a dozen professionals tell me that there is no money out there and no one wants to invest.
7. At a time when many companies are folding, we have found a way to reduce our MSRP by 67% while increasing our gross margins to 75% or more. This has sparked incredible head turning by some of the world’s largest, most conservative companies. Now if we can only make it through the RIFs of our target customers, we’ll be in great shape. We continue to have delays with certain deals because of deaths, layoffs and other uncontrollable factors.
8. We’ve got some really great people in the company who are quite determined to weather the storm.
9. Besides all of these things, I’ve got new ideas brewing in my head. Some are ideas for the current company. Some are for the next one.
10. My wife and I continue to strengthen in our marriage, our trust, and our love for one another.
11. I’ve got some great friends, the kind of friendships that few people get to experience. The kind where you can be completely transparent and not worry about merely portraying the good side of things.

I can probably go on for a while making such lists. Like I said, I feel as though we’ve been quite blessed despite the financial hardships. So, what do I do during times like these? I think on these things and I keep working away and I remain thankful for it all.

Merry Christmas to all of you!

So… back around the end of last year, I did a post and solicited opinions for hosted services and other social networking items. My original intent was to stress the capabilities of my company’s products. But then I began to consider some of the numerous deficiencies of current online sites. Anyway, things have taken a new turn.

Recently a friend of mine asked me about going down this path again. The caveat… he wanted to do a Christian version of Myspace and asked me to consider it. Over the course of several days, I considered this idea. We met for dinner to celebrate a mutual friend’s birthday and after everyone else departed, we discussed the idea further.

I informed him that I thought it was a bad idea. Professing Christians are some of the worst people on the planet. Consider this:

Mahatma Gandhi is one of the most
respected leaders of modern history. A Hindu, Ghandi nevertheless
admired Jesus and often quoted from the Sermon on the Mount. Once when
the missionary E. Stanley Jones met with Ghandi he asked him, “Mr.
Ghandi, though you quote the words of Christ often, why is that you
appear to so adamantly reject becoming his follower?”

Ghandi replied, “Oh, I don’t reject your Christ. I love your Christ.
It’s just that so many of you Christians are so unlike your Christ.”

I couldn’t say it any better than that. Mr. Ghandi had hit the nail on the head.

But why should this be so strange for us to comprehend? After all, who did Christ keep around himself? Sure he had his disciples. Other than that, he was routinely found in the company of the down and out, the lepers, the sick, the harlots, the demon possessed, etc. You weren’t likely to catch him in the company of the religious. Why? They actually sought him out.

Christ routinely considered this crowed to be self-righteous and worthy of his contempt. They professed to know God, but refused to keep his word. Instead, they had a form of godliness, but denied the power thereof.

Over the past number of days, my site has seen a considerable amount of traffic. Odd, since I haven’t really done a post for quite a while. The hits were mostly coming off a friend’s site, where I was listed as a contributor. Apparently, some folks took exception to a series of posts I did back in November titled, “Keeping It Real, A Look at Motivational Posters”. The first two were rather harmless. The third was definitely on the questionable side of things. So I took some measure to refrain from offending some. I put this disclaimer on it:

“Anyway, this is the one I said would probably be offensive. So, I’ve
made an edit and I’ll make the image small like a thumbnail. If you
aren’t overly sensitive, then by all means click to enlarge it.
Otherwise, don’t bother. Just move on. I usually don’t post offensive
materials. But these were just too funny. And I do have a sense of
humor.”

Apparently, these individuals have opted to ignore my warning, view the poster, and take offense; so much so that it has now created problems for my friend. As a result, I have been deleted from his site and he may end up deleting his site altogether.

The irony of self-righteousness is that it seeks to conform others to its own notion of morality. In the end, it seeks to corrupt– not to make holy. This is why Christ had a problem with such individuals. And this is why others, like Ghandi, are so turned off. If it weren’t for the grace of God in election, no one in his right mind would turn to Christianity. But it’s not because of the doctrines. It’s because of the people.

I dare say that most of today’s Baptist churches would shun Paul, Spurgeon, Gill, and even Edwards. They wouldn’t be welcome in their churches. They would despise Christ for loving his enemies rather than casting stones at them. They could have God in their daily presence, yet do as the Jews and seek out Pagan ways instead.

In the end, who is this an indictment of? Of me? Of my friend?

We need to carefully consider those we associate with. By that, I don’t mean that we need to only hang around folks who reflect positively on us. I’d rather be around individuals I disagree with or have significant differences with if they’re at least genuine.

It is sad that my friend is going through a tough time. I’d like to apologize and show regret for bringing things down upon him. I’ve never made a post on his site to warrant such wrath. Instead, these individuals have invaded my site and are now bringing down judgment upon him and upon me. What do have to say about that?

Shame on them. I can only hope that God will be more gracious with them than they are with others.

There are reasons for classifications and labels. I realize that. They help us with making one thing analogous with another. The problem is sometimes we mislabel. Sometimes we get it wrong. And sometimes labels are wrongly appropriated.

I have seen this problem occur repeatedly over the years in many ways, but mostly when it comes to Christianity. Those who know me well, know that I draw a distinction between Christians and professing Christians. And the reason I do this is quite simple. It has to do with whether or not the person/people taking the label bear any resemblance to the identifying marks described in the scriptures.

Where am I going with this? The other day, I was channel surfing and there was a documentary on regarding Fred Phelps and his Westboro Baptist Church. His church uses as its domain name, “godhatesfags.com”. The church and its members hold protests outside of military funerals where they hold signs that read things from “Thank God for 9-11″ to “AIDS is the Cure for Homosexuality”. Phelp’s example for his and his church’s tactics is actually Jonah. When Jonah went to Nineveh, he proclaimed “In forty days Nineveh shall be destroyed.” He did not tell them, “God loves you”. He didn’t beg them to repent. He proclaimed destruction for their sin and the end result was nationwide repentance.

There are so many problems with this eisegesis. To begin with, Christians have their commandments; and we’re to obey them. We are commanded to love. We’re to love our God. We’re to love our neighbors. We’re to love our fellow brothers in Christ. And we’re to love our enemies. We’re also not to conform to this world, but to be conformed to the image of Christ. We’re also to be compassionate. There are those who believe condemnation and warning are the sincerest form of love that can be expressed. But it’s hog wash.

The bible has many safe guards in it to keep God’s people in check, to keep them from trampling over people in the name of God. This church’s eisegesis takes a saying here and an example there to draw its key message. And it’s a message of self-righteous hate and judgment.

On the other extreme, there are those who will say, “God is love”. Or they will declare that we’re to hate the sin and love the sinner. How one can separate the two is still a mystery to me.

The bible makes it quite clear that God’s wrath does in fact abide upon the wicked. It even uses words such as hate in describing the unconverted. To deny this is to declare ignorance of God’s word. But the key is that this is God talking. God is capable of loving his creation for the simple fact that they are his handiwork, while at the same time hating the same creation because they live in wanton disobedience to him. He can do this without any violation of his moral and righteous character. He is God and creator.

We, on the other hand, are sinners. We are tainted, though we might be in the process of being conformed to the image of Christ. And as a result, we are incapable of loving and hating individuals with any form of righteous consistency. It is an absolute impossibility for us and the apostle Paul deals with the attainment of this type of righteousness in Philippians. For this reason, we are to live a particular way and in a consistent fashion with the commandments given to us. The attainment and keeping of these commands is not what solely distinguishes us as his people. It is the keeping of them with love that marks us. And it’s the love part that uplifts us and keeps us going when we, ourselves, fall short.

Phelps and his followers not only associate themselves as Baptists, but also as Calvinists. For me, this is a double slam as I too consider myself to be both a Baptist as well as a Calvinist. While we may claim the same labels, and possibly tenets, we appear to be very dissimilar. Our messages are different.

Am I suggesting that we are to adopt a homosexual in order to show how loving we are? No way! That is not what I am suggesting at all. However, I can say that while Jesus maintained his earthly ministry, he continually reached out to tax collectors, prostitutes, and other sinners. He did not “hang” with the Sanhedrin. And as a result, the self-righteous accused him of loving and befriending every known group in the day. The end result is that people responded to his message. They wanted to hear him.

It is difficult to draw a lot of conclusions here, except to say we are not to draw a lot of them. We’re to let the scriptures do that for us. We’re to help and befriend those who are different than us. We are never to alienate them. We are never to drive a wedge between us and them. The bible and our faith may be wedge enough. We are also commanded to be the phos, the light source of truth in this world. If we are not the phos, then the world will have no light source. This does not place God in a box or limit him. This is what God has declared in the bible. This is his plan for us. We are to be the light and the salt. He uses the Holy Spirit to draw men unto him. In being drawn unto him, they are drawn to those who proclaim and live his word.

This mechanism is very simple when we do our part and allow God to do his. Invariably, it is the most difficult thing for all men. We may like to proclaim God’s sovereignty. But to allow him to be sovereign in our lives is at enmity with our human nature. This is where we do so much of our battling. We try to execute the will of God in lives via force, as opposed to allowing God to reveal his will through our active and passive obedience.

When we live and proclaim God’s word, people will be brought unto us. Some will listen and some will not. Those who listen provide us with an opportunity to expound. And they may continue to listen until God regenerates their hearts and minds. Or they may leave. Then there are those who want nothing to do with our message. Are we to attack them? Make them feel bad? Warn them if they don’t listen to us, they’re going to burn? No, we’re not. We are not to wastefully cast God’s precious word upon them for them to trample it. We’re to move on.

In declaring such hatred and in alienating people who are different, Phelps and his followers have set themselves up to take the place of God the Father and the Holy Spirit. And at the end of the day, they provide one more obstacle, one more excuse, why people should have nothing to do with Christianity.

They are not the only ones who act this way. Through the years I have encountered many others who employ similar self-righteous tactics. We should refrain from such behavior and truly glean from the scriptures how we are to treat all those we come into contact with.

Bear in mind that there will come a day when many will stand before God and will declare all the good works they’ve performed and all the messages they’ve preached. In the end, God will proclaim to them that he never ever knew them. Not even for a moment.

As we end this year, ask yourself a couple of questions. Does your salt have flavor? Do you bear light? Do you love those who hate and persecute you? Or do you simply do good to those who do good back to you, who believe as you do? What kind of Christian are you? Does the world even consider you to be a decent person?

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