Friendship and being a friend are terms we’ve learned to live with since we were children. How many books or motivational presentations or sermons have you ever heard on friendship? And have you ever thought about levels of friendship? Are there friends you consider to be best friends? And do you have friends you really consider to be acquaintences?
I think the one thing we can count on that we all hold consistent regarding this topic is that NONE of us desire to be without friends. I don’t know about you, but I think I’ve been there before. In fact, I know I have.
You see? When you find yourself one day flush with friends and the next day all alone, you start to question your notion of friendship. But this really isn’t intended to be a post about analyzing good friends vs. bad friends. This is really meant to be a bit more introspective. And this is to give you my notion of being a friend.
As a result of various turns and twists in my life, I have come to the conclusion that spending my time looking for good friends was going to be time poorly spent. It just seems elusive. The harder you look, the faster it flees. Rather than lose more precious time, I thought about simply being the best friend I could possibly be, something I clearly wasn’t very good at in my earlier years.
Coming from a fairly Christian, or what some would consider to be ultra religious, background over the past 15 years, I have seen my fair share of good people throw other good people under the bus too many times. And while being in such company, I grew accustomed to being told the type of people I should be friends with and the type I should not. “Love not the world, neither the things in the world…” seems to come to mind. This verse always seems to pop up on such topics, but with a fairly detailed explanation of the context. But while the context may be close to accurate, the application of the text invariably results in criticism for befriending folks of different faith and beliefs. More to the point, I cannot tell you how many times I was taught to look down upon people who were different than me or of my supposed faith.
What a bunch of CRAP! Guys, let me tell you something fairly simple. And I hope you’re pick’n up what I’m put’n down. WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT. Even when we think we’re similar, we’re different. And it’s our individuality, mixed with that of others, which makes life colorful and enjoyable. Now, I’m not talking about racial discrimination here, though I think it’s fairly applicable. I am talking about every facet of life: race, creed, religion, sexual preference, political views, etc.
Now, am I suggesting that we accept one another’s views? Am I suggesting that we’re ultimately the same? Heck no! I am suggesting we give one another benefit of the doubt. We extend trust, until it’s lost. We demonstrate mutual respect to those who disagree with us or who believe differently. We give one another a chance.
When we arrive here, we’re ready to examine what it means to be a friend. Otherwise, all that we do and exchange with others will be conditional. Hmm… see where I’m going?
Once we’ve come to this place, we possibly have a chance to pour ourselves into those around us, whether family members, loved ones, workers at the grocery store and so on. We need to invest ourselves into others regardless of what we might ever receive in return. I’ll go a step further, we need to do more than simply invest. We need to love them. We need to be kind to them. We need to be patient with them. We need to encourage them and even see the good in them.
I am by no means there. I am trying. Some days are better than others. And sometimes I may even have a pretty decent streak. But there is still much to work on. Perhaps one day, I may actually be this type of friend. The kind that someone might actually value when there is no one else. When he is all alone.
I do value my friendships much more so than ever before. But these days, my focus is on whether or not I’m being a good friend. I want to be. I wouldn’t want anyone to ever experience that sense of aloneness that I have once felt. And if some take advantage of me in a bad sense, so be it. I’d rather be vulnerable and possibly discover such friendship than to be guarded and never have anything above a shallow relationship.
If you see me struggling or even falling behind in this endeavor, I do hope you will be a friend and give me a nudge. Sometimes that’s very necessary. And I suppose one of the reasons I love blogging is that the comment system allows for such feedback. I wonder if I’m the only one who has noticed that 
Because we’re not face-to-face, we’re sometimes more open and honest online. Just a thought. Anyway, I enjoy it. And I enjoy you. And I hope to be a good friend to you.
