A Bit Preoccupied
I’ve debated posting anything on this. I’ve tied to keep my personal life to myself, but my grandfather died this weekend and my mind is sort of all over the place.
I was just out in CA the other weekend for business and for some personal stuff. The Saturday before this past one, I took my sister and Brendan out to pay a visit to my grandfather. We hadn’t seen him in a couple of years. It’s never a very good excuse to be busy— too busy to see him or other loved ones. But that was the frequent line. It was hard to justify the 3+ hour drive out to his house.
Anyway, I was glad we made the trip. We had no idea it would be the last time we’d see him alive. He was actually looking like he was doing well. After all, he was 91.
Growing up, I didn’t really spend much time with my grandparents. There had always been a bit of a rif between my grandparents and my parents. This was largely due to disapproval over my mother for racial and, I’m sure, other reasons. The end result was that my sister and I grew spending very little time with my extended family. And trying to make up for such lost time as an adult isn’t very easy.
While I have been able, and fortunate, to be able to restore and build my relationship with my dad, I wasn’t so luck with the rest of my family. I think the relationship with my sister is the only other exception, and that’s a very recent thing.
So much has been coursing through my mind in the last few days. It’s tough living with regrets and I’ve found doing so to be of little value. Instead, it’s far better to simply learn from our decisions, both good and bad.
Anyway, I’ll be traveling back to CA, near the end of the week to attend the funeral services. I’m debating on whether or not to bring Brendan with me. He’s only 7 and such a service could be a bit much for him. But then again, I recall all of the services I missed out on, for similar thinking. And frankly, it may simply seem to be a boring church service to him. He had only seen his great grandfather a couple of times in his life. But, this will be another opportunity for him to see his other family. I wouldn’t want him to be deprived of the opportunity. But who knows? This could be another bad decision. …still weighing things.
((((you and your family))))
You can’t live your life with regrets. There have been times in my life where I’ve found myself consumed with/by it and it’s just no way to live. And like you pointed out, the end result is of little value.
I think it’s a good opportunity for you to spend time with B. It may not be as much ‘fun’ as some other things, but like you said, it gives him some time to spend with extended family AND you.
I’ll miss you though (as you already know). *hugs*
I wish I had more time to reply thoughtfully, but I’m headed out the door :/. Soooo, sorry to hear of your loss, this makes the second death I’ve learned about in the past HOUR
.
I’ll be praying for WISDOM for you…that seems to be the most urgent need right now.
I’m sorry about your Grandfather. We lost my Dad, Grandmother, and my husbands Uncle in the past 18 mo’s. I took my 5 year old son to the funerals. It was a tough decision because my parents didn’t let me go to a funeral until I was a teen. However, my son did great. He got to see family members, he asked alot of questions, and he is fine with it. I am glad we took him. I think that if you and his Mom agree with the decision to take him, you should.
Condolences. And I hope your time in CA goes well for you.
I’m so sorry Mike. My heart goes out to you and Brendan. I’m glad you got to see him one last time and that he lived for so long. Be safe!
EE: Thanks Sweetie!
Robin: Thanks for your thoughts and friendship.
Tracy: Thanks for that. I have decided to take Brendan with me. I’m sure he’ll be fine.
David: Thanks Bud!
Tink: Thank you so much. I’m glad we made that trip. And I’m sure this one will go well too. If nothing else, it’s a good opportunity for father and son bonding.
Hey there Mike. Sorry to hear about your Grandfather. There’s never anything one can say at a time like this to make you feel better. I hope you know that my thoughts are with you!!!
I’m very sorry to hear about your loss.
Sorry, Mike. My experience is that you just can’t predict how a kid will take a funeral at that age. None of mine have ever acted like I predicted they would. I say take him and just be sure to answer whatever questions he may have.
Man, I just read this post. I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers…