my thoughts, musings, rants and discoveries . . .

Friends, I’m really not sure how to even begin this particular post. My head’s a bit foggy from severe sleep deprivation. I’ve been in severe techy mode for the past several weeks, trying to flush out some new architectural “things”. Perhaps you’ve heard the expression about being busier than the one legged man… Well, that’s me lately. And on top of that, I’ve been in and out of numerous meetings and trying to figure out how to take a trip to VA week after next.

Now, that’s all work related and I really don’t want to go into detail as my normal subject matter tends to be for an audience different than the one I might intend. I really don’t know judging by the number of folks who visit and don’t leave comments, or who visit and leave after getting to my opening page. I sometimes have visions of them coming here and then fleeing as fast as they can. I certainly hope this isn’t the case. And I would like to think that what I write can be easily digested.

Anyway, I’d like to talk about a subject that I’ve been hit with in the last few days. Please note, that this isn’t intended as a means of chastising anyone. And I’m not even addressing it to anyone in particular. But it has affected some folks I truly care about and it doesn’t need to be that way.

As humans, we have been gifted with an incredible analytical capability. Sure some are more gifted than others. I for one happen to make my living out of spotting differences or where divergence occurs. That’s sort of why I wear these crazy little CTO hats. And in business or in technology, this can be a great skill to have. But there are areas where it can also cause great problems too.

To illustrate where this causes trouble, consider for a moment the subject of racism. Do members of one race criticize or persecute members of another because they’re too similar? Of course not. They do it because of perceived differences. And for whatever reason, those differences are substantial enough in their minds that they need to manifest their objections openly. It’s a shame.

Well, sometimes we tend to note behavioral changes in others. Sometimes the changes are very great and we realize something significant is happening. What do we do? Well, we probably make a quick inquiry to find out what in the world is going on. But when the changes are subtle, what do we do?

This is where I’d like to focus my attention for a moment. When we notice subtle changes in the behavior of those we interact with, often times we tend to dismiss any judgment. It’s small and insignificant and we often don’t want to overreact. But then we notice another. Again, we might gloss over it. And then another.

But sometimes, while this is happening, other changes may be going on with others too. Hmm. Now our mind kicks into gear. All of a sudden we’re no longer noticing subtle, insignificant changes. Now it’s huge and systematic change. It’s a plot. Or the ship’s leaving without us. Who really knows, but it’s big now and it’s all consuming.

Here’s the simple reality of things. Change occurs. Sometimes the change is innocent. For example, I have been quite lax in posting my Revelation section on chapter 4. When I put my study on hold a few years back, it was because I was incredibly burnt out from some rather vicious personal attacks. I was so overwhelmed each time I made a post or sent an email or even picked up the phone that I literally took a break for almost 2 years. But this time, it’s not like that at all. I’m just really busy trying to balance my career, my family life, my blog life, my email life and so on. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention there are friends too. And some of them I deal with in the flesh. Who’d a thunk it?

My point is that there are all sort of reasons why such things occur in our own lives. Now imagine it in the life of the one immediately in question. Now imagine it with others. And all of this is going on at the same time. Let’s face it. We live in a crazy time and we’re all so insanely busy.

But sometimes, our recognition of events and our gut feel are pretty accurate. Sometimes they’re spot on. What then? Do we head things off at the pass? When do we nip it in the bud? Or when do we intervene on behalf of others?

You see? The problem isn’t recognizing patterns. Trust me when I tell you our children are way better at it than we are. The problem is being right with our conclusions. When we allow our conclusions to get the better of us, we’re capable of doing remarkably bad things, but with the intention of actually doing good.

Sometimes it’s best to let things take their course and reveal themselves for what they really are. We need to allow facts to manifest. Otherwise we’re only acting on speculation. And when we finally act on our speculation, we may get an answer that is contrary to what we thought. But then speculation kicks in again so that we question whether it’s the truth or a lie. And this can go on and on. And if we’re really carried away, we can get others into the act along with us.

Friends, I’ve seen this far too many times in my rather short existence. I’ve participated and even lead some of these. And I’ve also tried defending myself against folks who have done the same. This isn’t a very fun process. In fact, it’s quite painful.

Now, I have been caught in this before, as I mentioned above. And recent “things” have allowed some, including myself, to wonder if it was happening again. Well, the other day it was time to put the brakes on. I simply didn’t want to give it any more consideration. If an attack was gonna come, let it come and deal with it then.

I thought I had dealt with it. But alas, there are folks who care about me who thought they noticed the “things”. The dangerous part of comparing notes is that you end up picking up all the pieces you didn’t otherwise have, and vice versa. Anyway, some friendly confronting has occurred with the end result that everyone simply feels bad about everything and for one another. It’s a big mess.

We can’t afford to do this. And sometimes we simply need to keep our mouths shut when we think we’re seeing some changes occur. When we discuss them with others, we can foster all sorts of thoughts in their minds too, which only contributes to this problem.

Let’s practice not thinking or contriving evil to others’ actions. Let’s give folks the benefit of the doubt. If our worse suspicion does come true, then we know what to do. As Christians we’re to turn the other cheek.

None of this makes us weak. And this isn’t about being a better person than the other. It’s simply Christian survival. If we don’t feed bitterness, suspicion or malice, they’ll die off on their own. And this will usually happen rather quickly. But let’s go about our business too. Let’s just try to stay on course and not get so easily derailled. I think we may have a bit less stress in our lives if we do this. And we just might avoid straining relations we truly care about.

And just so you know, this is just as much for me as it is for those I care about. I’m just as guilty. And my family and friends mean so very much to me as well. And my feelings are rather fragile too. I’m hoping that an outright trainwreck may have been avoided this time. And further hoping that there is no next time, because we’ve all learned our lesson.

Now I know there are some people who will still think this is for them. It probably is, but not in the way you think. Most of us have been on both sides of this and on more than one occasion. So, please consider that before you jump to a conclusion We’ve all participated in some pretty stupid stuff. Let’s not forget that as well.

To all my friends, please take care and please forgive my short falls. I truly strive to have no enemies. And if you only knew how much I will agonize over the thought of just one person being offended by me, perhaps you’d cut me some slack– not that I deserve it, though.